{"id":33312,"title":"Monstered","description":"A sprawling, introspective poem exploring belonging, exhaustion, solitude, and the fragile search for continuity in a transient world. Blending moments of quiet rebellion, self-awareness, and tenderness, it traces the tension between connection and isolation \u2014 a meditation on what it means to endure, to be seen, and to keep becoming in the face of impermanence.","content":"

<\/p>

\"vgiynxohpr4g4tls162yd9mso33kdo6rqngpu6od4r6dlubq.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"<\/p>

\"on0enagwkflzpurjf1dmn4dj37hymv9lnqyexjir4m17bisg.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Nothing is our home.<\/p>

If it were something.<\/p>

It would have been stolen. <\/p>

Maybe it has been.<\/p>

\"8f7bjq3snnb3qpykwprwid0oea2vzs77kvnj1c2olrbidnmi.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Get ahead, <\/p>

grow a bigger head. <\/p>

Bend to the pull of what was said.<\/p>

\"eocxhs1y7rlgdezzqispb25po2nc71spyygurwewt2sqliym.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I am the last. <\/p>

I\u2019ll tell you,<\/p>

until I am no longer so. <\/p>

\"pgfzeck06plhojlud5ttbwh6tsmwddatx38oj1g9f5q8v5vv.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Sorry,<\/p>

standing room only. <\/p>

Tiredness, the fare we pay<\/p>

to board the shadow economy.<\/p>

\"x0ryb9uxcfcb1bfdptfuj56qeuhj7dopdeoa61lbabb8lrn8.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"A stray black dog<\/p>

walked beside me. <\/p>

A passerby scolded me<\/p>

for letting my dog roam free.<\/p>

\"jrchodw0wflleqqwvjgppujyery2qm5xovtwjczxccqlobzx.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"\"Greetings, fellow homebody\u201d, she said. <\/p>

I am the introvert of introverts. <\/p>

One day, I might message first, <\/p>

but not today.<\/p>

\"khcobzemeb280fxddcxk2hwrgfkcgfis1usb1abrnycopd83.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Do I want to connect,<\/p>

to disconnect, <\/p>

to reconnect, <\/p>

to be together, <\/p>

yet remain apart?<\/p>

\"rrc9nu1fs0pqond7o0jcvyomx9q2pn2pkl1vzyvsmidcllhi.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Nothing towers above me. <\/p>

My sole purpose<\/p>

is to find a purpose<\/p>

that endures till the end.<\/p>

\"mkojnkcgbptqtgs623qwv2bamsvrsfvbcbvg0l9lbxxrdjsa.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Are my boundaries meant for my protection? <\/p>

Am i an inside looking in, <\/p>

or an outsider looking out? <\/p>

Or am I simply gazing in the<\/p>

wrong direction.<\/p>

\"wsfafpu9skqln13i8uguliie79ksoznjol4n4rfrlbfxumf3.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I am so fixated<\/p>

on what lies ahead<\/p>

that I have forgotten<\/p>

what I\u2019ve done<\/p>

and how it felt.<\/p>

\"oww8quh4nekoaulpyp5oqqgmticy2ozpyxixiy02svafdzje.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"The internal clutter, <\/p>

how can i express<\/p>

myself more clearly?<\/p>

\"pzhuhqqduld3exkry4vfsnbiappvxbww25alqvgkjdfuwzyq.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"The first bubble,<\/p>

the self,<\/p>

must be the strongest of them all.<\/p>

\"vd45zn3cm6owsly3oncdpqugxgbqwx8r91aa3eyv7fuksipx.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I walk in the footsteps<\/p>

of my elders, <\/p>

but with softer steps.<\/p>

\"81oiqubgvtrx9fvujdbfmpqof7ov8q8cxaayuo5csavgufyk.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I am trying to be better,<\/p>

walking the bridge<\/p>

instead of standing at the edge.<\/p>

\"9wjkxgvbtjlgkhvmyvjnhp8kdi30opbgtli3hxf3emgqyxal.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"The decision fatigue, <\/p>

when every options begins<\/p>

to deceive.<\/p>

The ability to choose,<\/p>

is there really a choice? <\/p>

\"aiskrek0uu6pm9wituukg2ojrrrx8noyiqeicgklxsn29xqd.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I was invited to the gathering.<\/p>

I went to the gathering.<\/p>

I left the gathering.<\/p>

\"6iw7srwcm9vednueu2skdnssiyorhiitivfbrx1xfvtkjycp.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I was nurtured in a plant pot. <\/p>

I\u2019m unsure <\/p>

if i\u2019ll survive in the wild.<\/p>

\"p0dd6s7jqm4fnztxy245p2iqzqdenvcnls9rqighnnjwzeaw.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Shoot me out of this situation.<\/p>

Let me be caught by a dream.<\/p>

\"qacgd2o7qyrpiufpdvjpavmybo8lyrtkagdzv3bsmntazkkd.png.png?w=1140&v=2\"We took it in turns<\/p>

howling at the moon, <\/p>

and then we went home.<\/p>

\"gf5dgxvqfdar25q23xabuxeg299vylphaoekywvlgcqbvr5c.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Oh, hello, fellow oddball.<\/p>

I thought about what you said<\/p>

was quite logical, <\/p>

but the conversation<\/p>

has already moved on, <\/p>

and i couldn\u2019t catch up<\/p>

with the momentum.<\/p>

\"7hc96htjzf93v3n7rguoqcwdigazpwoltpm5oqtyeembcox3.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I was in the dark, <\/p>

burdened by all i didn\u2019t know. <\/p>

If i were honest with myself,<\/p>

i would realise I should ask.<\/p>

\"usl6g4byssyoxmszxaeqscocu93asqc5pej13y7cvief6odd.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"The roots i\u2019ve grown<\/p>

are tangled at the surface. <\/p>

I\u2019m fixed in place, <\/p>

yet easily uprooted.<\/p>

\"czbpsuhdlbzv9tn8i5bsmdrc0gbcwz3vkor2vo7sveqltl9g.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"Big boy bubble, <\/p>

yet all i want to do<\/p>

is dance like a baby.<\/p>

\"dc4fuehmuen8lmpdwbxxpdwt06y2qzmjm8zndq22fsyz1pn3.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I forgot that I had a body,<\/p>

that needs sustaining. <\/p>

I couldn\u2019t get up in the morning, <\/p>

skipped lunch, but had dinner.<\/p>

\"sahfqmu1zvu0pdckgp0glf59yfvt8irezj9blmnpodgrp1ng.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I try not to take it personally. <\/p>

My body is not rejecting me.<\/p>

\"3zrpjrvc6g2tcuhycxf153sed485er2tnjlbrpfpzarzax5r.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I arrived late to my intervention. <\/p>

\u201cYou haven\u2019t hugged<\/p>

anyone in months,\u201d they said.<\/p>

\"u6yfbfzzaltdsuuct9kbh4cr3miaweql6d02uxawbki13jdr.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I was at the pinnacle,<\/p>

but i couldn\u2019t see<\/p>

any farther than before<\/p>

when i was lower.<\/p>

\"cpktosrvs6e3chnobgpzozjjrwvfxwaogrtklkuip9i0oc78.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"The other day, <\/p>

i learnt about scaffolding from a friend. <\/p>

I found the act of supporting<\/p>

strength comforting.<\/p>

\"v9kj9x4d3ia4ynjxastsp4kmuy7kcieuxdsfxpujalrtvcgs.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"When you understanding<\/p>

how to hurt others, <\/p>

you end up hurting them less.<\/p>

\"snbir4fszpgjhi7vuinmnstzgfzekifvo9tiizwlcqlfb5yj.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I long for these leading arms. <\/p>

I want to feel protected<\/p>

beyond the length of the song<\/p>

i keep listening to on repeat. <\/p>

\"tasy8lzskgsjoyn70bjaokut7lrmgateo7fpkzkjhsqreknr.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I wore my vocation as an earring,<\/p>

so there would be no doubt<\/p>

about what i\u2019m doing. <\/p>

I tallied up my achievements<\/p>

with crossed fingers.<\/p>

\"vdri0kicqhklh83ybq5ljn7r6yfp6ryogfprgz4wfeshuttd.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"All the routes I travelled,<\/p>

or could have travelled, <\/p>

but instead, i chose to leave.<\/p>

\"qn7y25edpjzu9kt6flhsi4nnsvlif2g2ecg1igurmh5oydoy.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I did not drag myself;<\/p>

I was carried.<\/p>

I am loved.<\/p>","urlTitle":"monstered","url":"\/blog\/monstered\/","editListUrl":"\/my-blogs","editUrl":"\/my-blogs\/edit\/monstered\/","fullUrl":"https:\/\/lostcampitos.com\/blog\/monstered\/","featured":false,"published":true,"showOnSitemap":true,"hidden":false,"visibility":null,"createdAt":1698972249,"updatedAt":1762562193,"publishedAt":1762562193,"lastReadAt":null,"division":{"id":209850,"name":"Lost Campitos"},"tags":[{"id":2886,"code":"matteo","name":"Matteo","url":"\/blog\/tagged\/matteo\/"}],"metaImage":{"original":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/izi3owuc0ysihyaauaaxoi34dlh2b3fyuqldu2dnzg2z8yis.jpeg","thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/izi3owuc0ysihyaauaaxoi34dlh2b3fyuqldu2dnzg2z8yis.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/izi3owuc0ysihyaauaaxoi34dlh2b3fyuqldu2dnzg2z8yis.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"metaTitle":"Monstered","metaDescription":"A reflective poem on solitude, belonging, and resilience, exploring human connection, self-discovery, and the quiet acts that help us endure.","keyPhraseCampaignId":null,"series":[],"similarReads":[{"id":24851,"title":"Love","url":"\/blog\/love\/","urlTitle":"love","division":209850,"description":"Artist Matteo Delred and writer Rebecca Mar\u00eda reflect on love. Exploring different types of love, as defined by the Ancient Greeks.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/umrjnxs7qyv4mmajjpiopam85mxhwjzxx4c4dkt4pztfvz5q.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/umrjnxs7qyv4mmajjpiopam85mxhwjzxx4c4dkt4pztfvz5q.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":24941,"title":"Catching On the Fly","url":"\/blog\/catching-on-the-fly\/","urlTitle":"catching-on-the-fly","division":209850,"description":"Writer, Rebecca W Morris, and Photographer, Matteo Delred, capture thoughts and images at the train stops from Jerez de la Frontera to Cadiz on the Cercanias trainline. For each stop, one piece of writing is written and one photo is chosen. Seeing the same things they\u2019d seen so many times, but with new eyes.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/hxf4vqbdejmlykd3ffgu1m8pfwvwi6xgvo0kqtnu50cygkce.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/hxf4vqbdejmlykd3ffgu1m8pfwvwi6xgvo0kqtnu50cygkce.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":25084,"title":"Listening To the Birdsong From My Caged Window","url":"\/blog\/listening-to-the-birdsong-from-my-caged-window\/","urlTitle":"listening-to-the-birdsong-from-my-caged-window","division":209850,"description":"Matteo Delred and Rebecca W Morris capture the urban melancholy of being separated from the natural world through poetry and photography.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/7txvyg55ntk060bcks3mlugsnxi48onvirhfqfsftpnzp0ov.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/7txvyg55ntk060bcks3mlugsnxi48onvirhfqfsftpnzp0ov.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0}],"labels":[]}