{"id":35260,"title":"I Cried in a Museum","description":"Visual art and poetry by Matteo Delred.","content":"

Visual art and poetry by Matteo Delred.<\/p>

\"ilx6bld51p9ghr7g8qtucozwxbadyhbogquwxgxz11nu8jzq.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I cried in a museum,<\/p>

I was on the cusp, and it just happened,<\/p>

wrong place and wrong time.<\/p>

There wasn\u2019t one thing;<\/p>

my body just rebelled into theatrics,<\/p>

performance art amongst the antiquities.<\/p>

An old man befriended me,<\/p>

we went for a cup of tea.<\/p>

\u201cIn a place where everything is old,<\/p>

it makes me feel young,\u201d he said.<\/p>

He didn\u2019t ask, and I didn\u2019t say why I cried.<\/p>

Maybe I didn\u2019t even know, but he knew more,<\/p>

seen more, and it was enough just to sit with him<\/p>

in a grandiose cafe and be the listener.<\/p>

\"hk6zwyavnd3bzvjrklzjt5zeqkfswv7aremyxf8zldzw8l3m.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&v=2\"I tried to be in the world again.<\/p>

I put my headphones away in my bag,<\/p>

the contents of which were:<\/p>

three books, a sketchpad, charcoal pencils,<\/p>

and a pair of socks, black, cotton.<\/p>

I was a collector of socks.<\/p>

I used to have draws filled to the rim,<\/p>

and wore them purposefully mismatching.<\/p>

There was a system; it wasn\u2019t a free-for-all.<\/p>

They had to have a thread that connected them -<\/p>

a colour, a texture, or some time-bound significance.<\/p>

I think it was a habit I picked up from school,<\/p>

the forced uniform and the quiet rebellion -<\/p>

One step down from the mutinous top button undone.<\/p>

Carried into my twenties and ending in my early thirties.<\/p>

Now, all I have are socks that are black, cotton.<\/p>

\"bjkomf6sc26twabcf532m6mowfpri3sqmwfhgp6v0wntwsvw.jpg.jpg?w=1140&v=2\"I always want to push the door away,<\/p>

rather than pull it towards me.<\/p>

I want to keep things at bay,<\/p>

covering my hand with my jumper,<\/p>

anticipating the germs on the handle.<\/p>

Only for an exiting man to cough<\/p>

directly at me, and that\u2019s life.<\/p>

I hold my breath, counting in my head -<\/p>

The comfort of numbering, numbing, a slowing down.<\/p>

I touch my shoulder to negate the bad luck,<\/p>

psychologically soothing the unexpected.<\/p>

\"bhvcxgbxx4nmrdfqoxuob8j7dy2vh0ipcz5idl5b0yeunxtr.jpg.jpg?w=1140&v=2\"It needs to feel lived.<\/p>

It\u2019s not ready to be tidy,<\/p>

at hand is to be tangible,<\/p>

so I can sort the disorder,<\/p>

internally, cathartically.<\/p>

Outside of my body is manageable.<\/p>

Nothing exists until it exists,<\/p>

which maybe messy,<\/p>

but is a collage of my identity,<\/p>

to work through when I\u2019m ready.<\/p>","urlTitle":"i-cried-in-a-museum","url":"\/blog\/i-cried-in-a-museum\/","editListUrl":"\/my-blogs","editUrl":"\/my-blogs\/edit\/i-cried-in-a-museum\/","fullUrl":"https:\/\/lostcampitos.com\/blog\/i-cried-in-a-museum\/","featured":false,"published":true,"showOnSitemap":true,"hidden":false,"visibility":null,"createdAt":1704580397,"updatedAt":1733433615,"publishedAt":1733433614,"lastReadAt":null,"division":{"id":209850,"name":"Lost Campitos"},"tags":[{"id":2886,"code":"matteo","name":"Matteo","url":"\/blog\/tagged\/matteo\/"}],"metaImage":{"original":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/jefnsaqkzkapvtinjson1luqln7xpafcddl05cmrem3whxno.jpeg","thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/jefnsaqkzkapvtinjson1luqln7xpafcddl05cmrem3whxno.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/jefnsaqkzkapvtinjson1luqln7xpafcddl05cmrem3whxno.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"metaTitle":"I Cried in a Museum","metaDescription":"","keyPhraseCampaignId":null,"series":[],"similarReads":[{"id":24851,"title":"Love","url":"\/blog\/love\/","urlTitle":"love","division":209850,"description":"Artist Matteo Delred and writer Rebecca Mar\u00eda reflect on love. Exploring different types of love, as defined by the Ancient Greeks.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/umrjnxs7qyv4mmajjpiopam85mxhwjzxx4c4dkt4pztfvz5q.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/umrjnxs7qyv4mmajjpiopam85mxhwjzxx4c4dkt4pztfvz5q.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":24941,"title":"Catching On the Fly","url":"\/blog\/catching-on-the-fly\/","urlTitle":"catching-on-the-fly","division":209850,"description":"Writer, Rebecca W Morris, and Photographer, Matteo Delred, capture thoughts and images at the train stops from Jerez de la Frontera to Cadiz on the Cercanias trainline. For each stop, one piece of writing is written and one photo is chosen. Seeing the same things they\u2019d seen so many times, but with new eyes.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/hxf4vqbdejmlykd3ffgu1m8pfwvwi6xgvo0kqtnu50cygkce.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/hxf4vqbdejmlykd3ffgu1m8pfwvwi6xgvo0kqtnu50cygkce.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":25084,"title":"Listening To the Birdsong From My Caged Window","url":"\/blog\/listening-to-the-birdsong-from-my-caged-window\/","urlTitle":"listening-to-the-birdsong-from-my-caged-window","division":209850,"description":"Matteo Delred and Rebecca W Morris capture the urban melancholy of being separated from the natural world through poetry and photography.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/7txvyg55ntk060bcks3mlugsnxi48onvirhfqfsftpnzp0ov.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/7txvyg55ntk060bcks3mlugsnxi48onvirhfqfsftpnzp0ov.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0}],"labels":[]}