{"id":37433,"title":"Black Coffee. Bad Morning.","description":"Matteo Delred's visual art and poetry explores the complexities of being present. From the palpable absence of confidence when starting again to the intricate web of social obligations that push and pull from the past and the future.","content":"<p><\/p><p><img src=\"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/kwixcxaehq5kb15q778ttspjauydbuen2voweefuegfvjsgp.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" alt=\"kwixcxaehq5kb15q778ttspjauydbuen2voweefuegfvjsgp.jpeg.jpeg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" \/><\/p><p><\/p><p>I feel the absence of confidence. <\/p><p>Not abstract, <\/p><p>I could touch the place it used to be,<\/p><p>like a missing tooth, <\/p><p>tongue always returning<\/p><p>to the gap. <\/p><p>I carry social debt: <\/p><p>unanswered messages, <\/p><p>threads gone slack.<\/p><p>I\u2019m pulled into conversations<\/p><p>that run parallel, <\/p><p>never meeting. <\/p><p>What does it mean<\/p><p>to be a good friend? <\/p><p>I stumble. <\/p><p>People exist<\/p><p>until they don\u2019t. <\/p><p>It isn\u2019t ghosting. <\/p><p>It\u2019s that they\u2019ve gone into<\/p><p>figments, fragments.<\/p><p>To restart is brutal work, <\/p><p>like reaching barehanded <\/p><p>for broken glass<\/p><p>in the dark. <\/p><p><\/p><p><img src=\"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/pzu0810tonz3o8dxabigx0legljas3qsxo5pme2el0qxjg1d.jpg.jpg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" alt=\"pzu0810tonz3o8dxabigx0legljas3qsxo5pme2el0qxjg1d.jpg.jpg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" \/><\/p><p><\/p><p>Blindsided<\/p><p>by a wayward shower head.<\/p><p>Crash, bang, <\/p><p>bruised bottom,<\/p><p>ego dented. <\/p><p>Wrapped tight<\/p><p>in the cheap plastic<\/p><p>of a shower curtain. <\/p><p>I slither out, <\/p><p>half escape act, <\/p><p>half slapstick.<\/p><p>Sea-legs wobbling, <\/p><p>I stumble ashore, <\/p><p>made ridiculous again<\/p><p>by dry land.<\/p><p><\/p><p><img src=\"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/jvt26w6k0tqr8jrcmcyuxb2rury0rqlzd55ksmu6sr7wbeqo.jpg.jpg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" alt=\"jvt26w6k0tqr8jrcmcyuxb2rury0rqlzd55ksmu6sr7wbeqo.jpg.jpg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" \/><\/p><p>An eroded sign<\/p><p>spells out wet pain. <\/p><p>I recognise it, <\/p><p>that raw, <\/p><p>not-yet-dried feeling<\/p><p>before it hardens, <\/p><p>before it earns its patina. <\/p><p>Every outing<\/p><p>takes something from me. <\/p><p>Black coffee. <\/p><p>Bad morning. <\/p><p>The price of leaving the house.<\/p><p><img src=\"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/fllaw22o1j0pc1zqvo0ffwmvz2cxfqupfesy2rnbwdbdrw3f.jpg.jpg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" alt=\"fllaw22o1j0pc1zqvo0ffwmvz2cxfqupfesy2rnbwdbdrw3f.jpg.jpg?w=1140&amp;v=2\" \/><\/p>","urlTitle":"black-coffee-bad-morning","url":"\/blog\/black-coffee-bad-morning\/","editListUrl":"\/my-blogs","editUrl":"\/my-blogs\/edit\/black-coffee-bad-morning\/","fullUrl":"https:\/\/lostcampitos.com\/blog\/black-coffee-bad-morning\/","featured":false,"published":true,"showOnSitemap":true,"hidden":false,"visibility":null,"createdAt":1710370631,"updatedAt":1759269315,"publishedAt":1759269314,"lastReadAt":null,"division":{"id":209850,"name":"Lost Campitos"},"tags":[{"id":2886,"code":"matteo","name":"Matteo","url":"\/blog\/tagged\/matteo\/"}],"metaImage":{"original":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/njceaixarb8rslpyzuastuiqmmy26bood8fn7ifmyluyoowv.jpeg","thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/njceaixarb8rslpyzuastuiqmmy26bood8fn7ifmyluyoowv.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/njceaixarb8rslpyzuastuiqmmy26bood8fn7ifmyluyoowv.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"metaTitle":"Black Coffee. Bad Morning","metaDescription":"","keyPhraseCampaignId":null,"series":[],"similarReads":[{"id":24851,"title":"Love","url":"\/blog\/love\/","urlTitle":"love","division":209850,"description":"Artist Matteo Delred and writer Rebecca Mar\u00eda reflect on love. Exploring different types of love, as defined by the Ancient Greeks.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/umrjnxs7qyv4mmajjpiopam85mxhwjzxx4c4dkt4pztfvz5q.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/umrjnxs7qyv4mmajjpiopam85mxhwjzxx4c4dkt4pztfvz5q.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":24941,"title":"Catching On the Fly","url":"\/blog\/catching-on-the-fly\/","urlTitle":"catching-on-the-fly","division":209850,"description":"Writer, Rebecca W Morris, and Photographer, Matteo Delred, capture thoughts and images at the train stops from Jerez de la Frontera to Cadiz on the Cercanias trainline.  For each stop, one piece of writing is written and one photo is chosen.  Seeing the same things they\u2019d seen so many times, but with new eyes.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/hxf4vqbdejmlykd3ffgu1m8pfwvwi6xgvo0kqtnu50cygkce.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/hxf4vqbdejmlykd3ffgu1m8pfwvwi6xgvo0kqtnu50cygkce.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0},{"id":25084,"title":"Listening To the Birdsong From My Caged Window","url":"\/blog\/listening-to-the-birdsong-from-my-caged-window\/","urlTitle":"listening-to-the-birdsong-from-my-caged-window","division":209850,"description":"Matteo Delred and Rebecca W Morris capture the urban melancholy of being separated from the natural world through poetry and photography.","published":true,"metaImage":{"thumbnail":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/7txvyg55ntk060bcks3mlugsnxi48onvirhfqfsftpnzp0ov.jpeg.jpg?w=1140&h=855","banner":"https:\/\/images.podos.io\/7txvyg55ntk060bcks3mlugsnxi48onvirhfqfsftpnzp0ov.jpeg.jpg?w=1920&h=1440"},"hidden":0}],"labels":[]}